Thoughts about Divorce

This week I have been studying a lot about divorce. Divorce is not a very easy subject to read or learn about. I personally, have not directly felt the effects that come with divorce. However, I have learned that I am a rather empathetic person so I am able to put myself in the shoes of those people who have dealt with the grieving of divorce. I feel that I would be able to provide comfort, especially children, for those who are affected by divorce.

I have recently learned about a school that is especially for children who are going through their parents’ divorce that provides them with comfort to get through the heartache that comes with their parent’s separation. The school is an outlet for the children to express their feelings towards the situation through music, writing, art, theater, and books. It is a place where children that feel the same way they do can go to escape and know that they have a support system of children just like them. I found this school very fascinating because this is exactly what I believe children need. They need a place where they can be understood. The teachers at the school teach children positive ways to cope, and to reassure them that their parents’ divorce is not the child’s fault.  

I was especially surprised to discover that divorce rates are actually going down, after being the highest they ever have been in 1980. However, there are reasons as to why that is true. Since the 1980’s, cohabitation rates have gone up. Adults no longer find it necessary to get married, just live together, which is why divorce is going down. So really, that isn’t much better, because it’s like a double-edged sword. Yes, I am biased, but the facts are that the best possible lifestyle for children comes from a two-parent home.

Children that are blessed to have a two parent home are less likely to encounter issues. These children are able to grow up in stable homes and their standards for living are increased as well. On the other hand, those children who come from divorced families tend to have weak relationships with all those they encounter because their example, of their parents is not one to look up to.

Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorm of the Twelve Apostles for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, has advised that “A good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection.” Perfection, is not a reachable goal, marrying the perfect guy or perfect woman is not going to happen, but what is possible is to become that perfect person for the person you want to spend your life with. I believe that if you want something to last forever you treat it differently.

I am engaged, and obviously, I want my marriage to last forever so I am going to treat it differently. I am going to become the perfect woman for Phil and I am going to put in 110% every day. Of course, trials will come, but I believe by being selfless and putting him first, many trials can be avoided!